went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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