i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
