I love black thongs
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You're like the curious george of whores
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
