Where did you get a picture of my penis
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
