He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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