okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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