Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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