So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
