people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
