I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
