What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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