her vagina looked like bernie madoff
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
