I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
