there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
