it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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