can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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