Dual....:-)
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
