perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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