dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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