i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
