Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize