1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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