pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize