I skipped work to stalk him.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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