It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
