I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
