Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
