How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
