yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
how do flat chested girls get laid?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
