I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize