I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
