i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize