I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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