Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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