So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
