since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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