he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
