There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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