Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
