So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
