I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
