Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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