Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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