"it" just moved
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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