i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize