that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
