I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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