So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
