I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
