they need to just BURY HIM!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
