Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
