I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
