went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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