It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
