I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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